


Just married (or not)

by Far_Away78



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, First Kiss, Fluff, Jealous Dean, Love, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:43:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Far_Away78/pseuds/Far_Away78
Summary: Dean Winchester is in love with his best friend but he's afraid of telling him. But when he received a wedding invitation from Cas and his fiancée, he realized that it's maybe too late...





	

We're happy to invite you to celebrate the wedding of : 

Castiel Novak  
And  
Lucy Carrow

We really hope to see you there ! 

Dean threw the paper on the floor and lied down on his bed, sighing. He really don't want this wedding to happen... Not that he didn't want his best friend to be happy or that he didn't like Lucy, but ... But ... Well, actually there's two reasons. First of all, he thinks that they get married way too early ! They had been together for only three months when Castiel asked Lucy her hand. Dean told him many times that it was too early but the man seemed deaf. So Dean just let go and now, Cas was going to get married next week.  
The second reason is that Dean is truly, deeply, madly in love with his best friend. And that was killing him slowly. Everytime he saw his blue eyes, his smile, his face, body, him! He fell in love with him more and more every time ! And that's why he didn't want to see him married. Yes he has never told him about it cause he was too scared to do it, to lose him. So here he was now, on his bed, alone, thinking of Castiel and how stupid he can be. Why did he have to wait that long ? Why couldn't he just tell him ? Now he's forever gone and honestly, Dean thinks he deserve it.  
He was about to close his eyes to get some sleep when a wild Sam appeared in the room. 

\- Hi jerk! How are you ? 

Dean just lift his head up and tried to put a smile on his face (that was a big fail). 

\- Hi Bitch ! I'm fine ! What about you ? 

Sam saw immediately that his brother wasn't fine. He can see through him now, he know him ! But he didn't say anything. 

\- Yeah I'm alright ! So what do you wanna do today ? Eat pie ? I just bought one !  
\- Oh no thanks , I'm not hungry...

Okay so the plan worked. 

\- Dean. What's wrong ?  
\- What ? Nothing's wrong !  
\- Dean ...  
\- I'm fine !  
\- You're not.  
\- I am ! 

Sam stared at him with a "I know you're not fine" look. 

\- Sam ! I'm. Fine. Stop it now !  
\- Why can't you accept that you can not feel well sometimes ?  
\- Cause now I am fucking alright ! That's why !!  
\- If you were that fine, the pie I just brought wouldn't have lasted 10 seconds with you in the bunker ! 

Dean opened his mouth to retort something but just closed it. He hated how well his brother knew him. He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fist.

\- Okay. I'm not that fine... 

Sam smiled, feeling a little bit victorious, and then sat beside his brother. 

\- Okay. Tell me what's wrong. 

Dean just looked down to the paper on the floor. Sam grabbed it and read it. When he finished, he sighed and stared at the other hunter. 

\- You still didn't tell him, did you ?

Dean got away from Sam. 

\- I don't...  
\- I know you love him Dean, it's pretty obvious actually, the way you act and look at him, the fact that you're always so worried about him, and lots of other reasons! And that's okay you know, I accept it ! 

Dean just stood here for a moment, slowly understanding how much Sam can see through him. Then a smile appeared on his face. 

\- I think I need a Sammy hug right now. 

Sam smiled as well and opened his arms. The hug lasted at least 30 seconds before they pulled apart. 

\- You need to tell him.  
\- But I can't !  
\- Why not ?  
\- Cause he's getting married ! That's why !  
\- But you can't keep this inside you ! That's not good ! For you both !  
\- I know but I... I just can't, I am not ready for this ...  okay ?  
\- Okay... 

A peasant silent settled between the two boys, both were thinking. Then Sam got an idea, a very good idea. 

\- If you can't tell it, maybe you can write it ?  
\- That would be still telling him, I ...  
\- No, not to give it to him, just to let out your feelings ! It would make you feel better ! Don't you think ? 

Dean smiled. 

\- Yeah that's a great idea !  
\- Okay so I'm gonna bring you a piece of paper.  
\- What ? You want me to do it right now ?  
\- Yes ! Sooner you'll do it, better it is ! 

And then Sam was gone. How the fuck did he go that fast ?  
When he came back, Dean was sitting in front of his desk. 

\- Okay, so just write everything you want. First, take a deep breath and then let out all of your feelings ! You'll see you will feel better !  
\- Yes we'll see, thanks Sammy !  
\- No problem Deano !  
\- Don't call me Dea... 

The door was already closed. Yeah, he moved really fast for a moose.  
Dean just laughed and brought his attention back to the piece of paper. Playing with his pen, he didn't know how to start. He took a big and deep breath, relaxed a little bit and then, the words started to fly inside his mind. Dean smiled and started to write. 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• (one week later)

Castiel was watching himself in the mirror, adjusting his white shirt. He turned on his sides and then sighed. He's gonna get married tomorrow and he should be happy about it. Yeah...  should... He didn't know why but he didn't enjoy that thought as much as he wanted. And it was driving him crazy cause he had no idea why. He, for sure, loved Lucy and wanted to marry her but it seemed like it wasn't right, that he shouldn't do that. And it was making him want to scream. 

\- Sooo, I found it you lucky boy ! 

Castiel jumped on the sound of Sam's voice who just entered the room, a blue jacket in his hands. 

\- It was hard to find but here it is !  
\- Thank you Sam ! 

Castiel had found out, while he was trying his suit, that there was a big whole on one sleeve and a stain on the side. Cas had started to panic but super Sam was walking by and had decided to stretch his own jacket suit to him.

\- I don't know what I would have done without you ! Thank you so much !  
\- No problem Cas ! 

As he was going to put on the jacket, Sam went to the door quickly ! 

\- Okay, so I'm gonna let you try your suit and go to the toilet ! Be right back ! 

And he disappeared. Castiel smiled a little bit and then looked again at himself in the mirror. He didn't know how but the jacket fits him even if Sam was a giant man. As he was closing the jacket's buttons, he felt something in the inner pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper. He knew he shouldn't but his curiosity was stronger and Sam wouldn't even know it ! So he checked if the man was coming back, unfolded the letter and started to read it. 

••••••••••••••••••••••••• (later, in the evening) 

Dean was on the balcony, watching the wild city. It was a very warm night and Dean was wearing a white shirt and only his boxers (he was alone so why not ?).  
Cas was going to get married tomorrow and Dean felt so sad and stupid. Why can't he just go to Castiel and tell him what he felt ? Cause he didn't have any courage, that's why. Killing some demons seemed so easy for him but talking to Cas was so much harder... Dean was lost in his thoughts so he didn't hear someone calling his name. 

\- Dean ? Are you there ? 

The voice came closer. 

\- Dean ! Where are you ? 

And then Castiel arrived on the balcony. 

\- Ah Dean, here you are ! I was looking for you ! 

Great. Just  what Dean needed. Why did Castiel have to come here ? He just wanted to be alone! Dean sighed. 

\- Well, you find me.  
\- Yes I do ! 

And then, silence. 

\- Sooo... How are you ?  
\- I'm fine, and you ?  
\- I'm good.  
\- Bit nervous ?  
\- Sure, who wouldn't ?  
\- Yes right.

Silence. Again. 

\- Do you want something or ... ?  
\- Uh... Yes ! Actually I have something to ask you.  
\- I'm listening.  
\- I know it's been really quick between Lucy and I, and that the wedding is tomorrow, and I'm a little bit nervous and ....  
\- Just ask your damn question Cas !  
\- ... Do you really want me to get married ? 

Silence. Silence. Silence and oh ! Silence ! 

\- What ?  
\- Are you okay with me getting married tomorrow ? 

From everything he could ask, Dean really didn't except that question and seriously didn't know what to answer. 

\- Uuuuh ... Why are you asking me that ?  
\- I asked my question first.  
\- Okaay...  Yes I'm not against you getting married ! Happy ?  
\- Are you sure ?  
\- Yes ! Why not ? 

Cas looked at Dean for a moment then pull a piece of paper out of his pocket. 

\- Cause I have a letter here telling me the opposite. 

And then Dean recognize the letter he wrote a week ago. Oh shit.

\- I ... You ... It's... Where did you find this ?  
\- Does this really matter ?  
\- Yes ! You weren't supposed to read this ! At all !  
\- But it somehow came to me and I read it !  
\- Everything ?  
\- Everything. 

Dean looked down, sighed and turned towards the barrier of the balcony, leaning against it. They stayed in a deep silence, both thinking about what to say. 

\- So... 

Dean looked up. 

\- Since how long have you felt that way for me ? 

Great. Castiel knew it and Dean was now stuck. Inside, he started to panick, he really didn't know what to say and he seriously didn't like not having it undercontrol. So, he did what he thought was right, to protect himself of the rejection he was sure to have. Walls got built around him and his heart and his face got hard. 

\- I don't feel that way for you.

Cas' face was confused now. 

\- You don't ?

 

\- No, that was a mistake...

Now Cas didn't understand anything.

\- Would you mind explaining yourself ?

 

\- I was drunk. I mean, not really drunk but very very tipsy and someone dared me to write a love letter to you or Sam. With Sam, it would have been very strange cause he's my brother and I  can't imagine myself writing him a love letter. So I chose you. I didn't even realise what I was writing until I got sober the next morning. It was Sam who took me home and he found the letter on me. When I woke up, he asked me questions and I explained to him the same story that I'm telling you right know. Then I asked him to destroy this thing. I thought it was done.

Dean looked at the paper. 

\- Apparently not...

The hunter looked up at Castiel. The angel looked still confused, puzzled and... sad ?

\- So you didn't write this for me ?  
\- Technically yes, but not for the reasons you thought.

He still looked confused.

\- So you told Sam to destroy it ?  
\- Yes.  
\- But he didn't do it.  
\- No.  
-Why ?  
\- I really don't know, maybe he wanted to keep a model for his next conquest !?  
\- ... Dean  
\- What ? I don't know, I'm making suppositions !  
\- But why didn't you destroy it yourself ?  
\- My hangover was really bad and I just didn't want to deal with this shit at this moment !  
\- This ... shit ?

Okay now, Cas looked hurt. 

\- Don't take this personnally Cas ! But that was just a dare ! Nothing more, I did this when I was tipsy, it didn't mean anything !  
\- Okay ...  
\- Why do you look so upset ?  
\- I thought that you... 

Cas didn't finish his sentence. He sighed deeply and put the paper back in his pocket.

\- It doesn't matter why. I have to go home now cause I need lots of sleep before tomorrow !  
\- Yeah, the wedding...  
\- Yes. Goodnight Dean.  
\- Goodnight Castiel.

*********************** (the next day)

Dean didn't know what he was doing here. He played with his tie knot, watching all these people sitting and chatting. The church was beautiful but Dean just couldn't think about anything else but Cas and himself. He never felt so stupid and sad in his whole life. He remembered the discussion he had with the angel last night and now, he regreted what he said. He should have tell him what he really felt, not that tone of bullshit ! So here he was now, at his best friend wedding, in a suit and in a gospel church, thinking that, after all, he deserved all this pain. 

He was hiding from everybody, he didn't want to talk with anyone, he wasn't even sure someone knew he was there, not even Cas. He's just gonna watch and suffer, with no one seeing him. That's all. 

After twenty minutes, the wedding started, just like the painful feeling in the hunter heart. Hidind behind a column, he watched Cas arrival. And he stopped breathing, just like his heart. 

Castiel was beautiful. He was wearing a blue suit, a white shirt and a black tie. His hair was just like usual, the after-sex hair, but it was done more perfectly, and it made him more sexy. Dean's stomach flipped and his mouth went dry. God he love him.

Lucy was pretty in her dress but she looked so flat beside his fiancé. His fiancé ... the noun sounds so good when it comes to Cas but not the determinant. 

The ceremony went in a blur and now, it was the moment where they had to say "I do" to each other. 

\- Lucy Carrow, Do you want to take here and now, Castiel Novak, as your husband ? Do you promise to love and take care of him during the rest of your life until death separates you ?  
\- I do.

Dean wanted to throw up. 

\- And you Castiel Novak, Do you want to take Lucy Carrow as your wife ? To love her until the very death and never betray her ?

That was the moment Dean lost it. He couldn't watch more of this. Tears were now forming in his eyes and he had to go or he will broke down on the floor. Not even caring about the fact that everyone could see him, even Castiel, he walked down the alley, heading to the door, his shoes making small noises on the tile. His ears didn't even hear the "I do", his eyes were closed, trying to hold back the tears. 

It was done, he lost him forever.

\- DEAN !

He stopped abruptly his walk. Was that ... ?

\- Dean ! Wait !

He turned slowly around, not actually believing his ears. It can't be his voice, no, it's impossible!

When he faced the audience, everyone was watching him, Lucy and Cas too. The angel started to talk again. 

\- Where are you going ?

Is he seriously asking this ?

\- You both said I do, so I don't get the point of staying here any longer !

Okay, that was a little bit rude, and judging by the small chats around him, he wasn't the only one to think this. He shrugged and was about to go away when Cas stopped him one more time. 

\- But I didn't say I do !

Really ?

\- Oh okay, sorry, go ahead ! 

He crossed his arms, looking straight into the angel eyes, trying to hide his feelings. He failed cause Cas really saw the pain in his eyes, and was that a little of ... love ? Cas turned his head towards Lucy, seemed to think very deeply, calculating what could happen if he answered this or that. Then he made his decision and a small smile grew on his lips. 

He let go Lucy's hand who frowned. 

\- I do not. 

Very loud gasps came out from everywhere and Lucy's mouth opened very large. Just like Dean's. 

\- Wait what ?  
\- No I don't want to marry Lucy. 

Then he turned towards his ex-fiancé/wife?. 

\- I'm sorry Luce, you're a wonderful person but that's not what I want, what my heart want.

Then he looked at Dean who looked very lost, his arms balancing on his sides. 

\- And you know what Dean ? I'm tired of hiding things and lying ! I want the truth and I want to tell it to everybody here !

He started to walk towards Dean who seemed paralysed. 

\- I am on this earth for a very long time you know, I've seen things that even your imagination can't think of, I've seen the humanity grew up, stumbled, stood up, won, lost and lived ! I've always been so sure about myself, I mean, angels and God are supposed to be superior cause we created you ! I was honest, loyal, obedient, the perfect little sodier for only one person during so many centuries ! I've never thought of anything else than serving my lord. And then, you, oh you Dean Winchester, you walked into my life with the delicacy of a truck ; you shook everything in my life, you made me doubt about my own family, you made me fight against what I've always been and you made me feel things that I wasn't even supposed to cause angels weren't design for this! 

Dean couldn't move, his eyes seemed lock into the angel ones. This blue fascinated him.

\- The fear, the sadness, the pain, the anger, the hatred, all of these, I started to feel it because of you ! It burned all my heart so badly, I don't want to feel this way anymore !

Dean opened his mouth to say something but Cas didn't let him.

\- But you brought other feelings, like happiness, joy, affection, courage, love ...

The hunter's breath was barely there.

\- And it made me feel so better about everything, everything I could've done in my entire life, everything you could've done to me, that ... that I don't care about what else you can give me, even if it could hurt!

Everybody in the room didn't seemed able to breath or make any noises anymore.

\- Since I'm by your side Dean, I've never felf so alive, so ... human! And everything I've possibly done for you, every single fucking thing, it was worth it, you worth it Dean cause you already gave so much that I can't even paid you back one day!

Cas had a little smile.

\- I don't know when it begun, maybe it was the very first time I saw you, or maybe it was slowly, with all the time you cared, you smiled, you laughed, you hug me, you called me Cas, you took my defense or when you moved the whole world to find me, bring me back. Or maybe with me going through hell for you, coming back all the time you called, smiling when I see or heard about you, wanting to protect you even if my life could be threatened, my heart wanting to know more about you...

Okay now, Dean wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not, but he wished it was real ! Cas put a hand through his hair, messing them a little bit.

\- But I have understood, that we share more than a profound bound Dean. Oh ! It's so much more than that !

He smiled.

\- It's always been you ! All my poor life, I've waited for something, someone to give me the will to keep going, to keep fighting even if my life was a mess and all I wanted was to end what I was and not starting again !  
I always held onto this idea that God gave a crap about me, that actually, he cared ! But I was just keeping me alive cause I was to scared to think otherwise, to do otherwise. But when I let go, I was broken, sad and ready to finish it, but you were there, by my side, keeping me alive, making me want to fight. I-I never thought I could ever feel so loved in my life !

Now, Cas was stopped in front of Dean, invasing his personal place.

\- And now, when I look into your eyes, I realise that I've been blind for way too long.  
I never wanted to marry Lucy ! I thought I did. But my heart belongs to somebody else since the very beginning. 

He took Dean's hand and the hunter looked like he's gonna have a heart attack. 

\- Dean Winchester, I am truly, crazy, madly and desperatly in love with you.

And at this moment, Dean broke down. 

Tears started streaming down his face and he couldn't even stop them. The feeling he had in his heart now is indescribable. It's a mix between relief, happiness and love.

Cas saw the tears and cupped his face with his hands, trying to dry the tears with his thumbs.

\- Hey hey, don't cry ! I am sorry, I shouldn't have...

Dean gripped him by the shoulders and pulled him in the tighest hug he's ever given to someone. It lasted at least 30 seconds. Dean nuzzled his nose into the angel's neck, sighing with happiness. When they separated, their faces were so close that Dean could feel the other's warm breath on his skin. They looked into each other eyes and the hunter saw Cas eyes drifting on his lips with envy. He started to lean in very slowly, not very sure about it. Dean followed the move and soon, their lips finally connected with each other. The kiss was very sweet and slow, like they try to discover each other with patience and love, like if their love would break apart if they went to quick or hard.  The whole audience was quiet for a long time until a slow clap started in the front row, then you could see Sam get up clapping his hands with so much strenght that it seemed like he had been waiting for that for a really long time ! When some people followed the move like sheeps, now almost all the room was up and congratulated the couple. By the time, Cas has put both of his hands on Dean's face and kissed him more passionately. Dean whipered and caught Cas' wrists, getting deeper in the kiss. Then, cause of this freaking need of air, they had to pull apart, breathing heavily. Dean put his forehead on Cas' and sighed while smiling. He crossed his fingers with the angel's ones and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he got lost in the ocean blue infront of him. God he was crazy for him. 

\- I love you so much.

Cas smiled. 

\- I loved you too. 

****************** (6 years later)

" Dear no one, ?  
Seriously, I don't know what to write, I don't even know who I'm writing to ! Sam told me to do it, that it would make me feel better, I don't really know how but why not ? It at least couldn't hurt, right ?  
I don't even know where to begin. Yeah I know : let's tell you the problem, dear no one. I'm in love. With him. I didn't see it coming and it hit me like a train. I'm still not all recovered right now. I didn't even know I could love someone so hard, want to spend the rest of my life with him, giving him my soul, my heart, my whole life too.  
The only problem is that he's taken, he's in love with someone else, he's gonna spend his life with her. It hurts so much like I feel like I'm gonna die. Why did he choose her over me ? I've done so much for him and he goes to someone else ? And plus, it was so quick ! I told him that only fools rush in but he didn't listen to me and soon, he would be married to this woman. I don't know what to do now... Shall I leave ? Shall I stay ? Would it be a sin ? I'm not sure I would be able to watch that. The worst is that their love is like a river that flows surely to the sea. Some things seem meant to be. I can't compare to that. I just ... can't.  
I'm so in love with him, dear no one. I wish I could just tell him what I feel but he would leave me, or it wouldn't make any difference. And plus, what would I say ? "Castiel, I'm in love with you, dump her and marry me instead!" ? No, I can't and he would laugh at me. I wouldn't bear it. I really don't know what to do, dear no one. And you can't really help me right now. No one can. I lost him forever.  
Sam said I would feel better after writing this. He was wrong."

Cas folded the piece of paper after he finished to read what was on it. A single tear rolled down his cheek before he realized. Dean, sitting next to him, wiped it with his thumb, cupping his cheek. Cas leaned in the hand, closing his eyes and sighing. 

\- You could have told me sooner.  
\- I know.  
\- You wouldn't have been hurt like that.  
\- I know.  
\- I could have answered you !  
\- I know.  
\- I love you. 

Dean smiled. 

\- I know and I love you too. 

He took the paper off the angel's hands. 

\- You have to stop reading it. Especially when it's our anniversary.  
\- I know but that's what made me do the first step. I would have married Lucy if I didn't find it.  
\- Yes, and we can thanked Sam for "forgetting" it in his coat. 

Cas smiled. 

\- Your brother was very helpful on this too, yes ! 

Dean still saw the sadness in the angel's eyes. 

\- Hey babe, stop being sad about this, it's the past, don't think about it anymore. Right now I'm here, with you and loving you, building our futur with you. Come here. 

He opened his arms and Cas snuggled into them. They laid there, in the sofa, Cas on top of Dean, cuddling with the fireplace burning bright, making the rings on their left hand shined. 

 

****************

And the end of my first Destiel OS ! I really hope you liked it !  
It took me very long to write it but I'm proud of it !  
Please tell me what you think of it in the comments ! 

Love ya !  
~FA


End file.
